Unlearning Internalized Misogyny: Why Women Must Support, Not Silence, Each Other

By: Natalia Rodriguez

When starting nonprofit HerCare, I always thought that men were solely to blame for the degradation and suppression of women; however, I soon came to learn that as women we tend to tear each other down instead of being supportive and uplifting. I encountered this many times in my life but perhaps the most prominent case was a couple of months ago. I was at a model United Nations conference debating real world issues and solutions for humanitarian crises and climate change. After completing the conference I was informed I had been disqualified because of the clothes I wore. But how could this be? I had worn a knee-length pinstripe dress and blazer on the first day and on the second, a long navy blue dress. What was worse was not the disqualification but the words that came next; "you look like you are going to a stripclub, women shouldn't dress like this, I couldn't focus because I was distracted by your legs being out, you're a good speaker but your clothes.." I was in shock, stunned that another woman would say that to a 15 year old. At first I was enraged and it took alot to keep my mouth shut, but soon this rage was replaced by distress but more than all confusion. As women who have fought for our autonomy, education, and right to vote, how could we turn around and police each other in the very ways we have fought against? How could someone, especially another woman, reduce my intellect and capability to the length of my dress? That experience made me reflect on the deeper issue at hand, internalized misogyny. It is not just men who enforce the societal constraints that limit women; sometimes, we do it to ourselves and each other. Whether through harsh judgments, gossip, or reinforcing outdated standards of respectability, we unintentionally become enforcers of the very systems that oppress us. But here’s the truth: change begins with us. Instead of tearing each other down, we need to build each other up. Instead of criticizing another woman’s appearance, we should celebrate her achievements. Instead of reinforcing misogynistic standards, we should dismantle them and the very system that tries to silence us. After that experience I could not be happier that HerCare is able to help women across the world  by fostering a culture of support, empowerment, and education. HerCare is not just about providing feminine products—it’s about changing the way we, as women, see and treat each other. It’s about ensuring that no girl feels ashamed of her body, her choices, or her ambition.

That disqualification did not define me; it fueled me. It made me more determined than ever to create spaces where women uplift one another, where young girls are encouraged to take up space, and where we are valued for our voices, not judged for our clothing.

Because real progress isn’t just about fighting external battles—it’s about challenging the biases we’ve been conditioned to accept and standing together in solidarity. And through HerCare, that’s exactly what we’re doing.