“Get Back to the Kitchen, Women”: When Likes Reward Misogyny

If you want to know what the internet really thinks about women, here’s a clue. Sexist TikTok comments get over 600 likes on average, while non-sexist comments barely reach 375. The platform isn’t just hosting these interactions, but it’s rewarding them.

Scroll long enough in the comments of a tiktok post, and you might see men posting “jokes” about women being overly emotional or incompetent, challenges that treat women as props, and comments that sexualize or objectify. And the worst part is that people are applauding it. Likes, shares, and reposts make it feel like the whole platform condones this behavior.

There is a psychological explanation for this. Being behind a screen creates a sense of distance from the people we affect. We don’t see their reactions, so we don’t feel the immediate consequences. Psychologists call this deindividuation. It’s even stronger when surrounded by a crowd of people doing the same thing. Regarding social media, one or two negative comments on a feed or post, leads to others participating in negative and cyberbullying behaviors. They have a group and do not have to face the individual they are bullying, so they feel more comfortable engaging in the behavior.

A BPS study found that sexist TikTok challenges received about 60 percent more likes than non-sexist content. Researchers also recorded over 400 comments discrediting women’s accomplishments and more than 300 involving sexual harassment or objectification.

And yet, expressing concern or identifying as a feminist can also draw backlash. On some platforms, being openly feminist is treated as controversial, or even socially unacceptable. Ironically, the very people who benefit from societal privilege often label the act of advocating for equality as a negative trait.

However, the most shocking interaction I've seen on social media is when women share experiences of harassment or discrimination, responses often shift to victim-blaming or mockery. Even as sexual assault reports rise, which reflects that more people feel safe enough to speak out, online comments continue to diminish these voices.

We can give these faceless users the benefit of the doubt, that perhaps they genuinely do not understand why these jokes are harmful. But the problem remains. Not understanding, or not caring, is part of the issue and it is a reflection of gender privilege and a lack of accountability.

What Can Be Done?

We cannot eliminate online misogyny overnight. It is deeply embedded in culture and proven by psychology. However, change IS possible through:

• Avoiding engaging with content that degrades women.

• Calling out harmful behavior without allowing the conversation to become chaotic.

• Supporting creators who produce content that respects women.

• Encouraging men on social media to listen and learn, rather than react defensively.

  
  

This problem will not disappear instantly and there is not a perfect solution. But it is necessary that we start trying.